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With smarty ring, I change my mind about weddings

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  • 4 years ago
  • Posted: December 11, 2013 at 10:51 pm

Are you planning to propose to your partner this December, don’t do it just yet, there’s a smarter way to propose that’s coming soon. As a people who live in a smart world we need everything smart. Diamond rings, gold rings, silver rings, fake rings, these are yester rings. Forget these dumb rings and jump into 2014 where we propose in style.

Before I tell you about smarty rings let’s talk about rings. What the heck? Why do people wear rings on their fingers? I don’t have an authoritative answer but the theory that I like and makes sense to me is that a ring, as  circular ornament, signifies endlessness – without beginning nor an ending – immortality. The empty space in the ring too has a meaning, it means a gateway; the opening into eternity. Hence giving a woman a ring as a show of love means that you are promising to love her eternally and at the same time giving her the gateway to your immortal love.

But we are tired by mere meanings coined over 6000 years ago; we want useful gadgets, tech gadgets, not myths; and that’s why we are talking about a smarty ring. In addition to fulfilling the love functions in a finger, smarty ring wants to offer incoming and outgoing call notifications, real time Facebook, Twitter, Hangout, Skype et al updates, Make calls to preset numbers, open Camera, Control music, text and e-mail alerts and alert you that your phone is more than 30 meters away.

Think of smarty ring as a better replacement of the Samsung Galaxy Gear or even the wrist bands dubbed vybe. What people don’t like about the Galaxy Gear is the price point, too pricey for gadgets meant to be companions for smartphones.

That’s all about smarty ring. Now to me.

You see I have promised myself never to wed, never ever. I don’t find any logical, rational, and economic justifications for spending tens, hundreds or even thousands of dollars to fund a one time life event that I would rather mourn over. There are two things that people get wrong, celebrating at weddings and mourning at funerals. The biblical saying that says “it is better to die than to be born”, implies that we should not celebrate occasions that give rise to birth but rather ought to sing praises and joyous music during occasions that terminates the meaningless life, just as David did after his illicitly born child was killed.

But reality is that we get married to be people that well, we love or ought to love. People who within weeks or months or years tend to have secrets, go to places that are questionable, and suddenly start receiving calls in the wash room or 30 meters away from the main house.

When such heartbreaking realities dawns on you, you’d probably want to have a smarty ring that can be able to alert you of your partner’s location every step of the way till death do us part.

And for that, I’ll fund a luxurious wedding and ensure it premiers on wedding show. But the good news is that I’ll have to wait for an indefinite period of time until the concept is real. For now, it is yet to be developed. Once it is ready I’ll write a post asking for your generous contributions towards my grandeur wedding.

Here is the video.

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Odipo Riaga
Managing Editor at Kachwanya.com
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Odipo Riaga is a Technology Blogger interested in emerging tech such as VR and AR, AI, Life Extension, Exponential Biotech, Immortality, Cyborgs and many others.
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